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I can’t enjoy being happy

My inner voice keeps telling me something bad will happen. 

Life has its ups and downs, says our elder. We all encounter ups and downs; just keep on getting back up!

 

Dear EWC

Hello idk where to start but lately I kind of had this kind of feeling where I can’t enjoy being happy. It’s always felt like I don’t deserve to be happy. If I am happy then I feel like something bad will happen to me and crash my happiness. I always have this kind of anxiety that tells me to stop being happy and it keeps saying I don’t deserve this and should worry about what will happen later. 

 

Grandpa-Matt replies

If there is nothing in the universe called perfection, perfect happiness does not exist either. It is all a matter of degrees. Happiness is not a destination! It is a journey. I will give you a list of words that often mean the same as happiness, but the amount of energy you pour into the quest for happiness will impact your experience. They are: contented, cheerful, cheery, merry, joyful, jovial, jolly, joking, jocular, gleeful, carefree, untroubled, delighted, smiling, beaming, grinning, glowing, satisfied, gratified, buoyant, radiant, sunny, blessed, lighthearted, thrilled, exuberant, elated, ecstatic, overjoyed, exhilarated, and over the moon.

The point is that we all fluctuate in the depth of our experience of ‘happiness’. It is like being on a boat, and the waves will make us feel all the ups and downs as it passes under the boat’s bottom. As long as the down feelings (less happy) are replaced by the up feelings (more joyful), you are on the adventure called life.

Your future will contain everything that appears in the past right now. What you deserve later on has little connection with the immediate past. The odds are 50-50 as to whether heads or tails will show up next time when you flip a coin. Your happiness is all about the attitude that you bring with you. The test you answer next time gives you a new opportunity to succeed. The anxiety you feel is only about the mindset that you bring to the event. You deserve all the happiness that you can accept. 

When you were a kid and learned to ride a bike, you fell and failed, and you got up again and kept at it without destroying your happiness. This skill allows you to play, enjoy and succeed. You still have that talent. Use it. I hope this advice is helpful.

Article #: 483033

Category: Self-Improvement

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