When I drink, I call my ex

I miss her! Why is she ignoring me? 

It’s not easy to move on after a breakup, says our elder. But it’s time for you to meet new people and have some fun.


Dear EWC


My ex broke up two and a half months ago. Our relationship wasn’t working due to a lack of good communication. For the first couple of weeks I felt relieved. After two weeks she called me because her car wasn’t working. We had no contact anymore and it was a surprise for me that she called. Of course it was for her car, but still. In my head I said to myself I shouldn’t be helping her any more but of course I still did. I picked her up, got booster cables at home and jump started her car. I couldn’t resist asking her why she decided to just give it up like that. I also confessed I missed her. 


From there on it’s been hard on me, she reacted in a way like she totally moved on and I should too. That really hurt me, and I think that was her intention. I question myself; can you really move on in a couple of weeks after living together for over a year? I find that really hard to believe. I formed a bad habit that every time I drink, I call her. I hadn’t had any contact with her for two to three weeks but yesterday I messed it up again. I wrote her saying sorry and explained it is hard on me that she has been ignoring me like she has, and I don’t understand it and also think I deserve more especially after all I’ve done for her. That’s pretty much what I feel like in a nutshell.


NanaPopo replies


It is never easy when you break up with someone you care for. You lived with this person for a year and still cared for her when you broke up.


It was unfair of her to call you when she had car troubles and then shoot you down with those comments. She was taking advantage of you.


Maybe she has moved on. We can’t know what another person feels, but we do know how we feel and can do something about that. Obviously not drinking too much should be the first thing you begin with. You are sabotaging yourself by calling her when she has told you clearly, she doesn’t want to get together.


You made a good point when you said you had trouble communicating. How can you get better at communicating so that doesn’t happen again? Here’s one place to start learning, but there are many others online. Learn from your mistakes so you won’t repeat them.


Go out with friends. Try new things. Maybe learn to swim or play tennis or roller skate. Whatever appeals to you. You’ll meet new people and have fun too. While you’re having fun, you may meet someone you are interested in. The past is over, you can only live in the moment.

You have more of your life to live. Go out there and find it.


Article #: 481639

Category: Dating/Relationship

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