I want to dance with this boy at Prom, but my ex will be there and I don’t want to hurt him. 

Prom is for dancing, says our elder. Dance with whoever you want and don’t feel guilty!

Dear EWC

Dear Elder, I’m in a sort of dilemma. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of five months because he was ignoring me most of the time. Usually, I would break up and move on, but Spring Formal (Prom) is this Saturday. Now if not having a date to Prom was the only problem, I would probably just dance with my friends who love and support me. I’ve liked a different boy since before I started dating my ex-boyfriend and this boy has expressed interest in dancing with me at Prom since he now knows I am single. Would it be wrong for me to dance with him as friends even though I only broke up with my ex a week ago? I would like to have someone to dance with, someone other than my ex, but I also don’t want to hurt my ex’s feelings because the wound is so fresh. I don’t know whether I should just sit on the side during slow dances or dance with a different guy. I’m just very confused.

Willow replies

Thanks for writing to the Elder Wisdom Circle with your question about slow-dancing at the prom. It’s such an exciting time for you!  My name is Elder Willow and I will be happy to answer your letter.

You impress me as a very kind and caring person. Even though you’ve broken up with your ex, you care enough about his feelings to worry about whether it would hurt him for you to slow-dance with another boy at the prom. That says a lot about you. That said, here’s what I think.

You and your ex have broken up. Neither of you has any sort of claim on the other, which makes you both free to do whatever you wish with others. You are not responsible for the way he might feel about you slow-dancing with someone else. You are both entitled to do exactly that, and that’s what I encourage you to do. I’m willing to bet that if he is going to the prom, he will be slow-dancing with other girls. Aren’t you entitled to do the same?

My advice to you is to go to the prom, dance with whomever you like, have a wonderful time and make great memories. Prom is a once in a lifetime event, and I think you would regret spending any part of it sitting on the sidelines instead of having fun dancing with whoever you want to. Go, dance, enjoy. There’s no reason to feel guilty or to feel you can’t dance with others, slow or otherwise. Make it a night to remember for all the right reasons.

I hope my perspective has been helpful to you. I hope you have a fabulous time at your prom! Thank you for writing to the Elder Wisdom Circle, and please write again if we can help with another issue.

Article #: 486603
Category: Dating/Relationship