It hurts! 

Our elder has some advice for a letter writer whose ex won’t pick up the phone. It’s time to move on.

 

Dear EWC

I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off pretty quick and good. We then dated for about two or three weeks but then decided we were better off as friends… we connected way more as friends. We were fine until about a week ago when he jokingly said, “I have a girlfriend”. I was fine with it, we weren’t dating anyways so he could do whatever he wanted to but it hurt me a little because I still like him and he knows that. I gave him something and that got him in trouble so I asked for it back because I didn’t want him to keep getting in trouble because of me. 

Going back to the girlfriend thing, I got jealous and didn’t talk to him for about a few minutes or hours. He never spoke to me again, but he still needs to give me the thing that I got him that got him in trouble. I saw him today at school after Christmas break and I want to go up to him and ask him myself for the item but I just can’t bring myself to do so. I texted him today and asked him for it but he just said, “Who’s this?” meaning he deleted my phone number. It kinda hurt me but I’m okay. Should I let this affect me? Should I talk to him in person and talk about all of this? I need to clear this whole situation. Please help:(

 

Good-Listener replies

I’m sorry things didn’t work out with the guy in question. Sometimes connections between people show promise at the beginning but just fizzle out or weren’t meant to be. I think you need to move on from him. Smile and be courteous if you see him – or if he wants to exchange pleasantries, go ahead. But don’t expect anything from him – especially if he deleted your phone in such a short period of time. Try not to get down on yourself. As far as whatever you gave him, forget about it and let it go. If he got into “trouble” or not, is his problem now, and he can deal with it. I don’t think you should bother him with it – he’s already shown you how he feels, and I believe that in his mind the situation is over. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but often realizing when to step away benefits us the most.

I can’t tell you “should” or “should not” affect you. We’re human beings and sometimes things get to us even if they “shouldn’t” (whatever that means). There are times even now (at age 70 plus) I’ll hear about someone from my past and still feel a tinge of something. The intensity of your feelings will dissipate, but we can often have a little place in our hearts for someone lasting years or forever, even if nothing materialized. 

Move on to bigger and better friends, who will put you as a priority and may feel the same way about you as you do them. This isn’t the only disappointment you may have  as part of life there are usually many. However, you may learn something from these experiences and recognize when someone or a situation is right for you from the beginning. It’s the start of a new year – and there are many new and wonderful people to meet! Good luck.

Article #: 493379
Category: Dating/Relationship