Dating or self-improvement?

This letter writer has been working on improving himself instead of worrying about romance. That’s fine, right? 

Absolutely, says our elder. Positive vibes will only make you more attractive.


Dear EWC

Is it okay if I (21,M) focus more on self-improvement than worrying about romantic relationships? I’m 21 and have only ever had one girlfriend, several years ago, and it’s always sort of bothered me. I went to an all boys high school, and then took a year off from college, so I’ve never really had much of a chance to date. It’s always taken up a lot of space in my mind, but I’m considering just stopping worrying about it. If it happens, it happens, and that’s great. But part of me really wants to just focus more on improving myself for my own sake, although not in a selfish way. I’ve been focusing on my education, career, health and fitness, etc. far more for the past few months and I’ve never felt better. Although sometimes I’m concerned I should do more when it comes to dating and romantic relationships, I find worrying about that stuff just stresses me out, prevents me from focusing on self-improvement like I want, and just hurts me. So, is it alright if I focus more on self-improvement than dating and romance? Or is this a poor choice that I’ll regret?


GrannyJ replies

It is absolutely OK for you to focus on self-improvement rather than worrying about dating and romantic attachments. I think you are already realizing why this is a good thing, because you said you “never felt better”. Your positive vibes will undoubtedly serve to make you more appealing to the people you encounter daily, and hopefully more attractive to women.

While you are pursuing your interests, think about trying new things that will help you meet new people. A comfortable way to meet women is to share a common interest by joining a club or organization, or pursuing a new group hobby or activity. 

Don’t worry about the fact that you’ve only had one girlfriend. Many guys are late bloomers, and, at 21, you are still young. You have plenty of time ahead of you for dating, and it will happen when the time is right. I think, if you stay on the right track, you will begin to notice a new maturity and self-confidence you had not seen before. So just relax, give it time, and enjoy your life!

Take care and good luck!

Article #: 495635
Category: Dating/Relationship

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