How can I stop the chaos?
You aren’t alone, says our elder. Try countering your negative emotions with positive thoughts.
Dear EWC
Whenever I write in my journal, I will always draw a visual representation of my mind: a tornado. I feel like my mind is messy, chaotic, uncontrollable, unpredictable, and I can’t stop it. I feel like all the anxieties and overthinking is too much and I get overwhelmed by all negative thoughts coming and I know to myself, even talking myself out of the thoughts, that it’s not necessarily true, that I can help my loved ones when they need me, I can still improve my life. I know I can but my mind keeps saying otherwise. Like the worries are unnecessary but it still gives me so much panic attacks, and insomnia. I dissociate when it’s too much, I don’t react, I cry, I pretend, I avoid. Negative coping, I know but it’s tiring to be mindful and positive. I always wish that I stopped having emotions so I won’t be like this.
Ms.Mary replies
You seem very insightful. I’m impressed that you already understand what’s causing your anxiety and why. Most of us worry needlessly. You aren’t alone. We suffer when we believe a thought that argues with what is.
Your negative thoughts have built momentum so much that you have trouble stopping them. An analogy would be trying to stop a car going 100 mph compared to one going 25 mph. It’s difficult for you to slow your thoughts because you’ve repeated them for so long they’ve become a habit. However, with practice, you will be able to improve them.
You are wise to realize your thoughts aren’t true and to counteract them by talking yourself out of them (positive affirmations). It’s great that you already do that. I hope I can give you a few more helpful tactics.
I read a book once that explained that thoughts are harmless unless you believe them (you seem to have figured that out). It’s not the thought but the attachment to our thoughts that causes us to suffer. Our thoughts just appear. Often, it’s easier to let them go if you meet them with understanding. I ask myself the following:
- Is this thought true?
- Can I absolutely know it is true? (I never can because it’s always about the future)
- How would I feel without this thought? (This is key. Close your eyes and wait. Feel the relief of not believing the thought).
- Then turn it around (Choose what you want to think – whatever comforts you).
Your example of drawing the tornado to represent your feelings is excellent. I suggest you take it one step further by practicing how you want to feel (relieved, peaceful, happy, eager, hopeful, etc). In other words, counteract the tornado by drawing a positive visual representation. Spend time savoring your positive visual and the emotions it elicits.
Whatever we think about gets bigger whether we like it or not. You will gradually turn the momentum of your thoughts around by noticing your worries and instead focusing on what you desire. Believing and having faith that you can do it is essential. We get what we expect. Start imagining that your positive emotions far outweigh your negative ones. Instead of telling yourself that it is tiring to be mindful and positive, turn that around. Tell yourself it’s getting easier every day and that your positive thoughts are starting to outweigh your negative ones. Affirm you are the master of your thoughts.
Don’t perpetuate your own condition. When you believe in the not-yet-seen (what you desire), your reality will begin to shift. Change your thinking first, and then the evidence appears. The mistake most people make is assuming it is the other way around. The truth is once you believe it, then you will see it.
I hope my advice is helpful. You deserve to be happy, light-hearted, and eager. I’d be glad to talk with you further. I’m sending good thoughts your way. I’ll close with two of my favorite quotes:
“When you change the way you think, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer
“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take a step.” Naeem Gallaway
Article #: 501779
Category: Self-Improvement