I like wearing leggings, but my wife says they make me look like a crossdresser.

Maybe save them for the gym, says our elder — if only in the interests of marital harmony.

Dear EWC

I wear leggings to the gym and sometimes for social occasions. I always ensure that I wear them appropriately and to the right functions. However, my wife totally hates my clothing choice. She thinks that I am turning homosexual or becoming a crossdresser. How can I ease her mind and wear the clothes that I like?

William replies

I’m glad that you are asking for advice. As I’m sure you understand, we’re a group of elders who call on life experience rather than professional training to offer opinions about problems in living. I don’t know you or anyone about whom you are writing.
I’m not “up to speed” with regard to what is the latest fashion. I do know that for years it’s been fine for men to wear leggings for athletic or fitness purposes, such as the gym you mention. Also, other exercise settings such as jogging, biking, playing sports and things like that are OK.

I don’t know if it’s common practice at social gatherings, and I haven’t seen a lot of guys dressed in spandex at work or restaurants. Also, based on your wife’s reaction, I suspect it may not be appropriate in these settings. However, that’s not your question. If I understand your letter correctly, regardless if it were a tuxedo or a clown suit, or anywhere in between, it’s your wife’s reaction that you are concerned with.
Personally, I trust my wife’s judgment when it comes to how I dress. I do this for a couple of reasons. The most important one is that in my experience, women have a better eye for style, colour coordination, and what’s appropriate to wear in a given situation. Secondly, I am not trying to impress anyone, and if my wife tells me something doesn’t look right, I want to please her, not the people I’m visiting or socializing with. That’s why I dress more or less according to her suggestions.

You asked for an opinion, and I’ll give you mine. If for no other reason than marital harmony, don’t wear your leggings to social gatherings unless you are trying to make some sort of statement. We can all wear what we want these days, it seems. However, doing so does come with consequences. Based on your letter, if you do wear them, your wife will think you are, in your words, “turning homosexual or becoming a crossdresser.” While I have no ill will toward anyone in the LGBT+ community, it would appear your wife may. I’m not going to delve into how your wife should think, I am going to tell you to listen to her. There’s an old saying, “Happy wife, happy life.”
My advice is to pick your wife over being stubborn and wearing leggings to social gatherings. Experience has taught me that often it’s challenging to change a woman’s mind. That’s my opinion. Listen to your wife and save the leggings for the gym.

I hope things come together for you soon, and you are to figure out how you want to proceed.

Letter #: 446656
Category: Marriage