My phone phobia

My business depends on making daily phone calls – but it’s my greatest fear. Help!

Our elder shares his tips for overcoming self doubt.

Dear EWC

I’m a real estate investor and my biggest fear is making daily phone calls. How do I get past that? I tell myself every evening before going to bed that I will make as many phone calls as possible the next day and then end up not making those calls. For me and my business to be successful, I have to make those calls to sellers every day. My business will die before it takes off if I do not change. Please help me!

Grandpa-Matt replies

Suppose you found out that every phone call you made turned out successfully, would you still say that making calls was your biggest fear? I sincerely doubt it. What I think is generating concerns are thoughts of rejection, failure, and hopelessness. My guess is what follows is a loss of motivation to get on that phone.

In the sport of greyhound racing, artificial or mechanical rabbits are used as a lure to motivate the dogs to chase it as fast as possible. With these animals, their drive is more instinctual than psychological. This is where you differ from the animal in the metaphorical race in which you are engaged. I don’t think the animals actively choose whether to do their best or not. Humans do have a choice.

Motivation is another word for choice. Be clear that you are choosing to stop working the moment that you stop. It is always our responsibility to take charge and keep choosing to move ahead. Right now, in my view, you are listening to your doubting mind. Maybe it is to prove that you are right in thinking that it is hopeless for you to create a long-term series of successful actions without being internally pushed by a sense of some reward.

Motivation is a minute-by-minute decision, just like walking. You consistently choose to take one foot and move it in front of the other, and the next step and the next, and so forth. The minute you decide not to take that next step, you are at a standstill. You will stay in that position forever until you choose to move forward. Only you know the answer to the question, “What will it take to get you back on track?”

We are just looking at the possibilities. If, for example, your favorite person’s life depended on you completing a group of tasks, would you do them quickly and to the best of your ability? Or if $5 million was given to you tax-free to complete tasks, would you put the immediate effort in working to get the money? I’ll bet you would get right on the job. Or if $5 million wasn’t enough, how about $10 million? I believe everybody has a price. It is all down to a question of motivation.

It seems clear that your heart wants the goal you are envisioning. Your mind, however, is throwing up roadblocks by sowing doubt in your path. I am not a therapist nor a mind reader, but, as I mentioned, the fear of failure and or rejection could be preventing you from following your heart. Often people have wrongfully concluded that they are not enough, not bright enough, talented enough, charming enough, capable enough, etc. to accomplish their goals. In such cases, re-enforcing their self-esteem is a necessary step. Check out

In my mind, one must have three things working together in unison to be successful in any area of life. It is like creating a stool that has three legs for balance. The first of these is vision. You must have an idea, specific as you can make it, that would satisfy your picture of success in your field. For example, if being an accomplished cook is your vision for yourself, then identify what culinary program you might be joining, and how that would look to you going forward.

The second thing that you need in concert with the vision is passion. To me, that means getting rid of anything that stands in your way of achieving the result. This includes any mental or emotional blocks that you might have erected to impede you from reaching the result intended.

The third and final thing that you need to bring balance to the project is action. Nothing happens without action. You might intend to drive a car from point A to point B, but nothing will happen unless you take the car and drive it. vision, passion, and action are required to work together to succeed in anything in life. As soon as you put these three things together, you will be on your way. So get busy!

Letter #: 462664
Category: Self-Improvement


  1. Having read several articles on self improvement here, I must admit they have been quite inspirational and thought provoking to get an ‘Action Plan’ in life and will help me move forward on several issues I have in my mind at present.
    Thanks for sharing your Words of Wisdom

    1. Administration Reply
      December 9, 2020

      We are glad the advice has been inspirational and thought-provoking to you. If you need or want advice, please go to and an elder would be glad to answer you!

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