He never texts me first

Is this a sign that he isn’t interested? This letter writer is confused about a coworker. 

Our elder advises keeping it platonic for now – dating a colleague can be awkward.


Dear EWC

There is a guy I work with that I’m interested in; we talk in person when I see him at work so that isn’t much of an issue. I don’t know if he’s interested in me though. I have been talking to him over text, but I’m always the one that initiates the conversation. However, he does respond really fast, like within a minute or so. He never texts me first. So, should I take that as a sign that he just isn’t interested and move on?


Good-Listener replies

I do understand the confusion about the guy at work. This could be a number of things. It’s possible he sees you as a friend and colleague, or he may have an attraction to you. But here’s the other thing to consider. You’re co-workers. Often companies actually have policies about co-workers dating, and it can often (trust me – it hasn’t changed in 60 years) lead to all sorts of awkward situations, resentments and even firings. He may like you a lot, but does not want to risk his position or getting in some kind of trouble if he values his job – or simply wants to make sure he’s seen in a completely professional light. 

My best advice is not to pursue this but if he’s a good guy, don’t cut him off or ghost him either!  If one of you leaves the company all bets are off and there is no reason why you then can’t pursue each other. However, my feeling is that right now – keep it platonic and understand that, while he may actually enjoy the attention and being around you – he may not want to risk anything to do with his employment. 

Should you or friends have other issues you’d like to discuss with a member of the Elder Wisdom Circle, please don’t hesitate to write. That’s what we’re here for!  

Article #: 492303

Category: Dating/Relationship

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