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I’m not going if he’s going!

A letter writer has tickets for the event of a lifetime, but his best friend is already going with another friend — and it’s someone he can’t stand. Should he still go? Our elder suspects he already knows the answer…

Dear EWC

I just got offered two tickets to an out of town sporting event that I really want to go to. It’s a bowl game for my favorite team on New Year’s Eve in a fun city. The problem is, my best friend is already going with someone who I can’t stand. The feeling is mutual I’m sure. We’ve had contentious interactions on social media and it would be super awkward to hang out with him. (he’s a total racist). There is little doubt that I will run into them if I go so I have to tell my friend I’m going. It would seem silly for us to not ride together if he knows I’m going, but then I will be in a car for four hours each way and hanging out with this guy for two days. I will be missing out on what’s sure to be a blast and I’ll regret not going forever, but how much fun will it be really if the whole time I have to hang out with this a-hole?

Nick replies

Seems like a no brainer to me and it also seems that you already know what the right thing to do is. Actually, there are two right things to do:

Option #1: Tell your best friend the truth, that you will also be going but, nothing personal, but you don’t want to ruin your own fun or your best friend’s fun so you won’t be traveling with or hanging out with them.

Option #2: Tell your best friend you were offered the two tickets but you don’t want to make it awkward for your best friend, so, on principle, you will be declining the bowl game altogether in order to avoid any hard feelings.

Here’s the thing; you were offered two tickets, which means you will be asking someone else and you’ll be with this someone else the whole time. Your best friend is obviously close to this racist guy or he wouldn’t be going with him to the bowl game rather than with you, to begin with. So while he may be your best friend, are you really his? And should you be if the other guy is a racist but yet your best friend has no problem with that?

So either go on your own without riding with them and hanging with them or stay home on principle. But definitely don’t ride with them or hang with them, wrecking your two days and most likely your best friend’s as well.

Letter #: 433596
Category: Friendship

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