My boyfriend says he’s bored

He wants a break from the weeknight routine. 

Date nights are one thing, says our elder. But expecting fun-filled activities every night of the week might be a bit of a challenge.


Dear EWC

Hello! My boyfriend and I have hit our one-year anniversary; however, he is starting to seem discontent. We haven’t had any disagreements or fights; however, he seems bored and distant. Our intimate life has been incredible and our weekends are filled with fun. After I confronted him about this he snapped and complained about how he is bored and feels like we do the same routine every day; however, it varies in reality. I want to be understanding and accepting of these feelings and find new activities or projects to do on weeknights after work, to change up the routine. I personally like coming home after work and exercising and doing our routine and just relaxing, and I have voiced this to him. However, I want him to feel like he has plans, so I am looking for any weeknight ideas or projects we can do together to change up our routine, without treating each night like it’s a holiday or weekend. Thank you!


Grammy-Lin replies

Thanks for writing to us. I’ll be happy to share my thoughts with you. 

So, your boyfriend wants to mix things up a bit and is bored by your current routine. I’m confused as to why it’s up to you to come up with the new ideas for projects and weeknight ideas? Does he have any ideas to contribute, or is he just complaining that he’s bored? 

I wonder what would happen if you asked for his input. Some couples take turns deciding what’s going to happen on their date night. One couple I know has a jar where they write their ideas on slips of paper, folded and tossed into the jar. The ideas might be things like, watch a movie, go for a walk, get take-out, work on a puzzle, go out with friends, and so on. You and your boyfriend will have your own ideas to suit your lifestyle.

As I said, most couples come up with ideas for date night. If your boyfriend wants something new and exciting every single night of the week, you may find it a challenge to keep up with that. Is he too high maintenance? Are you up to the challenge? Only you can decide.

I hope these ideas are helpful to you, and I wish you the very best. If you found this advice to be helpful, please tell your friends about Elder Wisdom Circle. We are always here for you. Best of luck to you!

Article #: 487152

Category: Dating/Relationship

One Comment

  1. Great advice. Yes, where and what are his ideas to shake things up–other than complaining…

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